Week 7 predictions

And while I'm at it...

Sunday
Carolina at Cincinnati - Despite tough losses to New England and Tampa Bay, the Bengals are a legitimate team. Carolina's defense will be hard-pressed to stop Cincy's two receivers and their offense will be hard-pressed to utilize their one receiver.

Detroit at N.Y. Jets - The Jets aren't as awful as everyone thought they'd be this year. The Lions, however, are.

Green Bay at Miami - I honestly believe Miami is this fucking bad.

Jacksonville at Houston - This might be a close one, depending on which Houston shows up.

New England at Buffalo - Not much to say here, I'm afraid.

Philadelphia at Tampa Bay - Dare to dream. The Bucs will be pumped from their win last week.

Pittsburgh at Atlanta - The Falcons' D is gonna have extra helpings of Rofl Burgers while the city of Pittsburgh enjoys a side order of French Cries.

San Diego at Kansas City - BEEP BEEP it's the bandwagon! Santa better get started on making all the extra A Whale's Vagina jerseys that'll be ordered just in time for the playoffs.

Denver at Cleveland - Jake "the Missnake" Plummer is still hit-and-miss, but Cleveland doesn't have the tools to take advantage of his inevitable turnovers. Even if they did, the Donko defense is pretty goddamned good this year. One allowed TD in 6 weeks is mind-blowing.

Arizona at Oakland - Holy God this will be the worst game of football ever played. Arizona will jump out to an early 134-3 lead at halftime, but will bench the entire defense for the 3rd quarter, allowing an Oakland comeback. Just kidding. Oakland really blows and they will lose.

Minnesota at Seattle - Seacocks.

Washington at Indianapolis - Laser, rocket arm.

Monday
N.Y. Giants at Dallas - Michael Strahan breaks his season and single game sack records.