Today on Cold Pizza, Woody Paige suggested that a recent scuffle between FIU and The U be grounds for permanently eradicating Miami's football program entirely.
Eat shit, Woody Paige. A): You prim and proper sportscasters need villains like Miami. Without Jimmy Johnson beginning a tradition of allowing young thugs from the Miami ghettoes to play football like the amoral, crazed assholes they are, football remains 6'6", 190-pound white guys with names like "Buzz" and haircuts to match running Student Body Left plays for two and a half hours. How much more interesting is the evening sports segment because the Hurricanes showed up in camo? What about the Catholics vs. Convicts rivalry?
Now, I certainly don't suggest excusing trying to crush an opponent's skull with your cleats/helmet just because it makes for interesting TV. I'm merely saying the 'Canes can pull this shit and (with the exception [so far] of this year) be a dominant force in NCAA football, and I hope that fact keeps the likes of Woody Paige and Joe Buck up late at night grinding their teeth into exposed roots.
Football is a violent sport. Yeah, sure, go back 40 years ago before Joe Namath and football was a white-bread, respectful sport. But even then it was about large men beating the absolute Christ out of each other, and nothing's changed except the strength of the hits.
Miami is a neccessary evil in NCAA football. Ray Lewis? Warren Sapp? Jeremy Shockey? Michael Irvin? They've all got three things in common: 1) They're all cocks. 2) They all came from Miami. 3) They're some of the best to ever play the game. Miami takes violent criminals, turns them into football players, and ESPN has footage for Sportscenter.
I wore my U hat with a smug smirk on my face today. I'm proud to be a fan. Hate me for it, 'cause it just gets me off.
Oh, and B): Woody Paige, you're named after an erection.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment