Week 3 predictions

Sunday

Carolina at Tampa Bay - Come on guys, please? Can we fire the cannons at least once this season? I'll pick the Bucs because the Panthers apparently really need Steve Smith to win.

Chicago at Minnesota - Fluky wins for the Vikes don't translate into 3-0. The Bears will have their way with the Vikings. Rex Grossman gets tapped on the wrist and loses an arm.

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh - This is gonna be an awesome game. Everybody has been talking about it. This'll be a good test of the Bengals';s's D. If they can shut down the Steelers like the Jags did, look out.

Green Bay at Detroit - Green Bay? More like Green Booooo! Favre blows another one and more fans turn on him. Really, this Brett Favre situation makes me sad.

Jacksonville at Indianapolis - I know the Steelers don't have quite the same high-octane offense as the Colts, but holy cripes the Jags shut out the Steelers for two quarters, which hadn't happened since 1980. Plus, last season the Jags managed to do the same to the Colts. If the D can play 60 minutes today, the Jags get on the plane with the win. Of course, the sportswriters will be talking about Ben Roflberger's "rust" rubbing off on Pey-ton, as opposed to giving the Jags credit for the win, but that's kind of how I like it.

N.Y. Jets at Buffalo - The Jets had a good start but the Bills are playing pretty okay right now. Either way, this game is not interesting to me at all.

Tennessee at Miami - Eventually won't they have to win? Billy Volek laughs all the way to the bank. Whatever that means.

Washington at Houston - Not quite, Houston.

Baltimore at Cleveland - The Ravens are playing surprisingly solid ball for a bunch of Civil War veterans.

N.Y. Giants at Seattle - The Giants start Tim Hasselbeck, ESPN fails to care. The Hasselbeck Bowl is postponed yet again.

Philadelphia at San Francisco - The Eagles blew it last week, but don't look for this one to go into OT.

St. Louis at Arizona - Jesus Christ who cares?

Denver at New England - Whatever.

Monday
Atlanta at New Orleans - Everybody wants to see this. Saints lead the NFC South 3-0, everybody's heads explode, Reggie Bush receives credit for the amazing start, the Texans get laughed at by me and everybody else.

Interesting side note: come Tuesday morning, the NFC South will be stacked 3-0, 2-1, 1-2, 0-3. Neat.