Week 1 recap

Okay, so I dropped the ball on week 1 predictions. Oops. My laptop is dangerously close to a complete meltdown, so I'm loathe to use it. As it is, I'm using my girlfriend's laptop for this update.

So, week 1 came and went and there were some surprising performances as well as some disappointments (goddamn you, Bucs). Let's recap, yes?

Pittsburgh managed to come from behind thanks to some heads-up defense, some questionable Culpepper decisions, and a surprisingly competent Charlie Batch. I'm not sure what this game means for Culpepper and the Dolphins. Culpepper seems to be the one quarterback nobody can agree upon. He's either over- or underrated, depending on which sportswriter you're reading. If you look at his career numbers, he's obviously a solid QB. However, instance to instance, maybe not. Throwing 2 INTs in a row when your team is trying to come back after blowing a sizeable lead kinda sucks, guy. Either way, they've got a great kick & punt returner in Casper the Friendly Wideout, so... look out for that guy, I guess.

Atlanta absolutely blew away Carolina, which isn't a surprise. The Panthers don't seem to perform well without #89, which is why they wanted Keyshawn so badly: they needed someone to take the heat off of Steve Smith. Well, they got Johnson but may have lost Smith for a few weeks, so we'll have to see if the D can compensate for the offense's troubling lack of doing much of any godddamn thing.

Chad Pennington and the Jets, eh? I knew the kid had it in him, he just has a shoulder made of pediatric cancer patient wishes: far too fragile to stand up to the harsh reality of an 8-man rush. It doesn't hurt that the Titans kinda blow.

Philly beat the Texans, which isn't a huge surprise, unless you're getting paid to write about sports in which case you are frantically scrambling to explain your preseason dismissal of the Eaglets. Houston played better than they did last season and David Carr was pretty okay when he was able to remain upright. Honestly, I think the Eagles are a consistently underrated team like the Jaguars or the Bucs who can sneak into the playoffs and then either not go anywhere (Jags), win big (Bucs, eventually), or throw up onto their own 25 yard line during the last drive of the Superbowl (Eagles, lol). Anyway, there's no reason to discount McNabb this season. Unless you're some kind of dick who thinks everyone shows him love only because he's a black QB. If that's the case, nobody cares what you think. Have another Oxycontin.

And for the last game on Sunday, the Manning Bowl, what else can be said? The Colts D is their usual, awful self, and the Giants fucked themselves with penalties long before the horrible OPI call in the 4th. Vinatieri looked smooth as silk, too. Of course, the Colts did have plenty of opportunities to scout him during the approximately 200 playoff games he won for the Patriots against the Colts, so no big wonder they wanted him bad.

Which brings us to Monday Night Football, and the first doubleheader of MNF history. I dig on this, and I think everybody else did, too. I'd like to see more MFN doubleheaders in the regular season, and at the very least every season should start with one. If I could make a suggestion, however, I'd like the first game to be a little less of a field goal fiesta. Keep the second game crucifixion, though, 'cause us folks on the East Coast like to go to bed early sometimes.

So, there you go. Week 1 encapsulated. And yes, I'm deliberately ignoring the Bucs game, because it was awful. Chris Simms, you bastard, you broke my heart.