For me, the best part of last week's preseason action was when my girlfriend visited me at work and told me "Cinci won, 19-3." I asked her if she'd caught the score on ESPN or Sun Sports or what and she said "No, I kept watching the game after you left." Shit, I love this girl.
Anyway, this is not Dick Vermeil's blog, so I'll keep it cold and emotionless for as long as possible. I missed the chance to call tonight's games, but I'll be 100% honest: I would've picked the Giants over the Chiefs and the Eagles over the Ravens.
This kind of proves my point about the preseason, though: the Eagles have not done shit this preseason (1-2 currently), even when given teams that you'd think they could roll right the hell over. I know the first-string teams don't play too many downs, but honestly, when your backups are this cocksucking awful, you're in trouble.
Some ... I was originally going to say "surpring", but that's a bit strong... call it "eyebrow-raising" performances came from "Air" McNair and Eli Manning tonight. McNabb was a solid QB a few years ago, but apparently Philly's management disallows him to scamper for first downs, putting him in situations where if Westbrook is covered, he's fucked. Official Footlawl prediction: the Eagles will be lucky to post a 5-11 record this season.
I'll admit I didn't get a chance to watch the whole game, but seeing ESPN's postgame recap of the Chiefs/Giants game kinda makes me question Larry Johnson's value as #1 fantasy pick. I mean, he had 4 carries for 8 yards. A far cry from the 1,000 yards in one game everyone (including Reggie Bush if you've seen the ESPN phone commercials) is expecting.
My fantasy league's draft is Saturday, and I think I've got a pretty solid strategy for drafting. My personal top 5 are: LT, LJ, Caddylack, Barber, and Alexander. Alexander drops 'cause he's on the cover of this year's Madden, and the Madden curse is just a bit too eerie to be coincidence. If I wind up with an early pick, I'll choose any of those first 4 over Alexander, based soley on the curse. If by some fluke he survies to the second round, I'll happily pick him as a backup and start him as an offensive utility player, but Jesus Christ, I'm going to laugh long and hard at the poor, dumb bastards who pick him ASAP in the first round after he goes down in week 5 with a herniated penis or whatever it is that keeps RBs down these days.
As a fantasy aside, I've seen a lot of magazines listing the Tampa Bay defense in the top 5, behind teams like the Bears, Panthers, Steelers, etc. Last year, the Bucs' D allowed 277.8 yards per game, lowest by far in the league. I'd really love to take their D for my fantasy team, but I'm not convinced they've got the freshness in them. They have an early bye week and that 3-games-in-10-days streak around Thanksgiving is going to murder them. As I said in one of the first posts, their top 7 defensive players have a combined 69 years of experience. Yipes. Gives me diarrhea.
Anybody who picks Neil Rackers as their kicker deserves a steel-toed boot to the testicles. I am volunteering my steel-toed boots for duty, even with my torn-to-shit right knee. Bryant, kicker for the Bucs, looks to be a good pick. That's an offical Footlawl prediction. Unless your fantasy league gives points for long boots, in which case, fuck it pick Rackers. Who cares? Apparently kickers are all the same.
Friday
Cincinatti at Buffalo
Detroit at Cleveland
San Diego at Chicago
Saturday
Carolina at Jacksonville
Miami at Tampa Bay
Arizona at New England
Atlanta at Green Bay
Houston at St. Louis
Minnesota at Pittsburgh
NY Jets at Washington
Tennessee at Denver
Sunday
Seattle at Indianapolis
San Francisco at Oakland
Monday
Dallas at New Orleans
You better fuckin' believe I'm calling in sick to work tomorrow and Saturday. There is no way I am going to miss a Panthers/Jaguars & Bucs/Dolphins double-header. Plus, the Chargers/Bears could get interesting.
And this weekend, I'd really like to get out to Disney's Wide World of Sports to see the Bucs work through some drills. There was an article by Len Pasquarelli on ESPN.com not too long ago about Simeon Rice and how he's sad his name isn't as recognized as, say, Michael Strahan's. I wanna give the big lug a big hug. And also to tell him to give Roflberger flashbacks to his motorcycle accident come 12/03/2006.
Also, everyone needs to check out Pandora.com, 'cause it's pretty wicked. Type in the name of a song you dig or an artist you like and watch it pick out similar suggestions automatically. Footlawl recommends the artist Psyclon Nine. That's right, evil synth-pop/EBM and football. I think you'll find they complement each other quite nicely.
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