OMG BRETT FAVRE OMG

Brett Favre has announced he will play for the Packers for the 2006 season. Jesus Christ, I'm laughing so hard here I might just shit my pants. He's gonna be 37 fuckin' years old this year, Green Bay! HIS HAIR IS GREY! Fuck, sign Air McNair, Kurt Warner, SIGN ANYBODY EXCEPT BRETT FAVRE YOU WENT 4-12 LAST SEASON, GUYS YOU CAN DO A LOT BETTER TRUST ME!!

Oh my God. Seriously. He threw 20 TDs last season, which isn't too bad until you realize fully half of those were thrown in October, with 4 of them in one game against Carolina. Plus there was that one against Cleveland or somebody where the final score was like 51-3. I'm pretty sure that one helped just a bit with the season total. He also managed to throw 29 INTs last season, which is abysmal for Favre. In 2001, he had 7 games where he threw none. In 2005, he had fucking two. In 2001, he had one game against Minnesota where he threw 0 TDs. In 2005, he had 6. Brett Favre didn't throw a single touchdown in December of 2005.

Attention, Green Bay: Brett Favre sucks. The only reason he did so well early in his career is because he was addicted to pain-killers. If your QB can't feel pain, of course he's gonna be able to get right back up after a sack and throw a 99-yard TD pass. I fucking hate Brett Favre. For all the talk about Barry Bonds' steroid use and how so many records in baseball will have to have asterisks next to them now, I've heard precisely dick about how Brett Favre played his early seasons stoned out of his mind. Rush Limbaugh took more flack for pain-killer use than Brett Favre has or ever will.

Fuck Brett Favre. The only credit he gets in my book is coming to play football the night after his dad died. That takes heart, which means a lot. Too bad no more relatives died the next week, 'cause the Pack fucking lost, and that's hilarious. God, fuck Brett Favre. So hard.