- Jerry Rice did it in a 12-game season.
- 16-0 isn't a perfect season; the only number that matters is 19-0.
- I really don't want to hear about it.
12/30/2007
A reminder
12/20/2007
Week 16 predictions
It's not all bleak though, is it? Let's make some fucking predictions.
Thursday
Pittsburgh Steelers at St. Louis Rams - The Rams will be looking to play spoiler, but they're not nearly good enough.
Saturday
Dallas Cowboys at Carolina Panthers - Not even Jessica Simpson's presence could fuck this up. The Panthers are struggling thanks to injuries.
Sunday
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at San Francisco 49ers - Sports radio was talking about how going to San Francisco fucks up an East Coast team. Possible explanations were jetlag, dehydration, and black magic. Either way, the Bucs just clinched their division and are playing shit hot right now.
New York Jets at Tennessee Titans - Who would've thought that the AFC South would be the closest division at this point in the season? With the AFC pretty much wrapped up, the Titans are one of the few teams in the conference left alive in the struggle for the playoffs. If Vince Young doesn't fuck this up too bad, they'll win.
Baltimore Ravens at Seattle Seahawks - Baltimore's streak goes to 0-9.
Atlanta Falcons at Arizona Cardinals - What the Christ, Bobby Petrino?
Washington Redskins at Minnesota Vikings - Both teams would really like a stab at the playoffs, but the Vikes are home and Purple Jesus is vertical again.
Philadelphia Eagles at New Orleans Saints - The Saints are in trouble.
Oakland Raiders at Jacksonville Jaguars - The Jaguars have been playing lights-out lately. They're gonna want to lock up a playoff spot and beating up on Oakland should definitely help.
New York Giants at Buffalo Bills - The Giants need a win here, but Eli is sort of inconsistent. Y'know, in case you hadn't noticed.
Miami Dolphins at New England Patriots - Please? Let's face it, the '72 Dolphins being in Miami for the first win of the season doesn't mean shit. This is a Christmas miracle early.
Kansas City Chiefs at Detroit Lions - Another cripple fight for draft order. I'm just going with the home team here.
Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts - Yeop. Even with this loss, the Texans might still finish 8-8. I can't believe that's true.
Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears - SUPER BOWL LOSER CURSE
Cleveland Browns at Cincinnati Bengals - Sorry, the Browns.
Monday
Denver Broncos at San Diego Chargers - I like the Chargers personally, so let's say they win.
Thursday
Pittsburgh Steelers at St. Louis Rams - The Rams will be looking to play spoiler, but they're not nearly good enough.
Saturday
Dallas Cowboys at Carolina Panthers - Not even Jessica Simpson's presence could fuck this up. The Panthers are struggling thanks to injuries.
Sunday
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at San Francisco 49ers - Sports radio was talking about how going to San Francisco fucks up an East Coast team. Possible explanations were jetlag, dehydration, and black magic. Either way, the Bucs just clinched their division and are playing shit hot right now.
New York Jets at Tennessee Titans - Who would've thought that the AFC South would be the closest division at this point in the season? With the AFC pretty much wrapped up, the Titans are one of the few teams in the conference left alive in the struggle for the playoffs. If Vince Young doesn't fuck this up too bad, they'll win.
Baltimore Ravens at Seattle Seahawks - Baltimore's streak goes to 0-9.
Atlanta Falcons at Arizona Cardinals - What the Christ, Bobby Petrino?
Washington Redskins at Minnesota Vikings - Both teams would really like a stab at the playoffs, but the Vikes are home and Purple Jesus is vertical again.
Philadelphia Eagles at New Orleans Saints - The Saints are in trouble.
Oakland Raiders at Jacksonville Jaguars - The Jaguars have been playing lights-out lately. They're gonna want to lock up a playoff spot and beating up on Oakland should definitely help.
New York Giants at Buffalo Bills - The Giants need a win here, but Eli is sort of inconsistent. Y'know, in case you hadn't noticed.
Miami Dolphins at New England Patriots - Please? Let's face it, the '72 Dolphins being in Miami for the first win of the season doesn't mean shit. This is a Christmas miracle early.
Kansas City Chiefs at Detroit Lions - Another cripple fight for draft order. I'm just going with the home team here.
Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts - Yeop. Even with this loss, the Texans might still finish 8-8. I can't believe that's true.
Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears - SUPER BOWL LOSER CURSE
Cleveland Browns at Cincinnati Bengals - Sorry, the Browns.
Monday
Denver Broncos at San Diego Chargers - I like the Chargers personally, so let's say they win.
On not updating.
Well, I'd set myself some lofty goals this season to be sure. Is it possible for one man to update a football blog at least one day a week with picks and maybe a few interesting news items? For me, apparently not. Hell, what's the point anymore? The Patriots just keep on keepin' on. This is the blackest of football seasons for me. I hate the Patriots. I hate smug Beantown fucks. I hate hate hate the idea of New England going 19-0 this year. Sweet bleeding Jesus is it really down to the Dolphins and the Giants?
And it's the fucking bandwagon fans that kill me. The fucking stuck-up bitch at the bar who wouldn't serve me because my driver's license had expired? Wearing a Patriots hat. The chillax stoner server who later that same night brought pitcher after pitcher, shot after shot and thus earned himself a $10 tip on a $20 tab? Not wearing any sports team hat, but probably a fan of the Hurricanes. You do the math.
A friend of mine who's a Dolphins fan said he doesn't care that much about protecting the '72 Dolphins' record. I told him I couldn't care less about the '72 Dolphins. I just don't want the Patriots up there, too. Shit, let's have 31 teams up there. The Pats stay down. Fuck 'em. Forever.
Buccaneers fans, Browns fans, Indians fans, Phillies fans, and (I almost hate to say it) die-hard BoSox fans should be forming lynch mobs, patrolling the sports bars and living rooms for suspiciously new Patriots jerseys and hats. You don't get to root for a team just because a) they're winning now and b) you once had a 12-hour layover at Logan and your cousin's step-brother married a girl from Providence.
The best thing to come out of Boston was The Departed, and some of that was filmed in Brooklyn, so rim me, Beantown.
A final note: Any player who takes out Tom Brady for the season will get a $25 gift certificate to Applebee's, courtesy of Footlawl.
And it's the fucking bandwagon fans that kill me. The fucking stuck-up bitch at the bar who wouldn't serve me because my driver's license had expired? Wearing a Patriots hat. The chillax stoner server who later that same night brought pitcher after pitcher, shot after shot and thus earned himself a $10 tip on a $20 tab? Not wearing any sports team hat, but probably a fan of the Hurricanes. You do the math.
A friend of mine who's a Dolphins fan said he doesn't care that much about protecting the '72 Dolphins' record. I told him I couldn't care less about the '72 Dolphins. I just don't want the Patriots up there, too. Shit, let's have 31 teams up there. The Pats stay down. Fuck 'em. Forever.
Buccaneers fans, Browns fans, Indians fans, Phillies fans, and (I almost hate to say it) die-hard BoSox fans should be forming lynch mobs, patrolling the sports bars and living rooms for suspiciously new Patriots jerseys and hats. You don't get to root for a team just because a) they're winning now and b) you once had a 12-hour layover at Logan and your cousin's step-brother married a girl from Providence.
The best thing to come out of Boston was The Departed, and some of that was filmed in Brooklyn, so rim me, Beantown.
A final note: Any player who takes out Tom Brady for the season will get a $25 gift certificate to Applebee's, courtesy of Footlawl.
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