Draft Recap NFC East Edition

Dallas Cowboys - HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS!? Second-best draft after KC in my opinion. Could've been the best draft, honestly. KC is a team rebuilding and were fortunate to have so many draft picks that they could maneuver effectively and pick well. The Cowboys went 13-3 in '07 and had two first round picks plus four more, yet they addressed their needs and got exciting players with half as many picks as Kansas City. Stunningly, RB Felix Jones was still around at 22 in the first round, and Jerry Jones, a former Razorback, snapped up Felix Jones, a former Razorback. He's gonna be a great partner to Marion Barber in the backfield, which makes me wonder why on Earth they drafted RB Tashard Choice in the fourth. The only black mark on an otherwise near-perfect draft.

New York Giants - I've never mentioned this on Footlawl before, but I've got a couple of tattoos. Nothing big or elaborate, but important to me nonetheless. After the Super Bowl this year, I went out and got two more. The first one is on my dick and it's a picture of me sucking Eli Manning's dick. The second one covers both of my ass cheeks right above my asshole and reads "Reserved Parking: Eli Manning Only." You see, the Giants gave me the single greatest sensation of pure ecstatic joy by crushing the Patriots and making 18-1 the sweetest record ever recorded in the NFL. I figure it's only fair to indicate to Eli that at any time he wants, my supple moist lips are available to service his MVP dong and my quivering virgin balloon knot is his and his alone. In April, they chose not to end a streak, and drafted S Kenny Phillips out of Miami, making 14 straight years in which a player from the U has gone in the first round. Handjobs all around for the Giants' front office!

Philadelphia Eagles - Wow, that was pretty terrible, let us never speak of handjobs for Tom Coughlin again. What is there to say about the Eagles' draft? They traded out of the first but took Carolina's first round for '09. They pick up a beast of a DT in Trevor Laws (6'1", 304lbs.) and zippy little WR DeSean Jackson (6'0", 169lbs.). He's a little guy, but he may be the fastest player in the draft.

Washington Redskins - They traded their first round pick to Atlanta and got low second- and third-round picks in exchange which they used to go WR, TE, WR which gave new coach Jim Zorn some weapons to play with on offense. They didn't address the D-line, however, so let's hope sixth-round pick P Durant Brooks can get off his blocks and after the QB. Oh wait he won't because he's a punter taken in the sixth-round. I don't have any proof, but I'd bet $5 Daniel Snyder was behind that move. Man, it must be nice being a Raiders or Lions or Redskins fan. I mean, not that nice because all of those teams suck, but they are able to pin the blame on just one person. How cool is that? FIRE MILLEN is so much more severe than FIRE FISHER, HIRE AN OFFENSIEVE COORDINATOR FROM THE PAC-10 AND SHUFFLE THE FRONT OFFICE A BIT.