The Other Football

But first let's talk about the World Cup!

At this point, Germany's playing well, England's gotten lucky, Brazil is floating past their opponents on cotton candy fairy wings, Argentina's playing with a ferocity that has to make Maradona proud, watching France play pisses me off for some reason I can't quite grasp (it has nothing to do with "Freedom" fries, trust me), Italy is making the most of the ref robbing the USA of a game back in group play, and Ukraine wtf.

Predictions: Germany whips Argentina so hard, Maradona goes bald in the stands. England v. Portugal winds up 1-0, flip a coin to see who advances. Brazil breezes on by France. Italy and Ukraine compete, one team wins, and both teams go out for pizza afterwards because that's what Little League teams do. Either way, Germany rolls on whoever wins that match.

England/Portugal will have to face Brazil. From what I've seen of Portugal, they're doomed if they go up against Brazil. England's probably got the best shot because they won't be blown away by the fact they're going up against RONALDINHO DEFENDER OF BRAZIL. Wayne Rooney will just elbow him in his ugly fucking horse face and then take a dive in the box in hopes of letting Beckham score on a free kick. This will occur at least 20 times in the match.

The finals will most likely be Germany v. Brazil with a slight chance of Germany v. England. Either way, Germany wins the Cup this year, unless England can really step up their level of play, which I'm hoping they do.