Back from the Dead

It's the most wonderful time of the year, ladies and gentlemen. No, I don't mean football season, it's Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. However, last Sunday has the distinction of being the last Sunday without an NFL broadcast til January. That said, let's take a look at the schedules of The U, Florida, and the Bucs and make some wild predictions based on nothing more than pure homerism.

The U
The U vs. Marshall
The U @ Oklahoma
The U vs FIU - Victory by way of horriffic brawl
The U vs Texas A&M
The U vs Duke
The U @ North Carolina
The U vs GA Tech
The U @ FSU - I hate to say it, but hey, I can't give The U a perfect season. I will, however, bet the 'Nole at work a bottle of wine that The U will beat the shit out of FSU.
The U vs NC State
The U vs Virginia
The U @ VA Tech
The U @ Boston College
ACC Championship: The U vs Wake Forest
National Championship: The U vs Some Sucka Team

Florida
Tim Tebow will either be the white Michael Vick (without being associated with the phrase "rape stands") or be completely uninteresting. Either way, go Gators!

Florida vs. Western Kentucky
Florida vs. Troy - The last of UF's rent-a-wins this season.
Florida vs. Tennessee
Florida @ Mississippi
Florida vs. Auburn
Florida @ LSU
Florida @ Kentucky
Florida @ Georgia
Florida @ Vanderbilt
Florida @ South Carolina - Steve Spurrier will have his revenge on the city of Gainesville.
Florida vs. Florida Atlantic
Florida vs. Florida State - Seriously, fuck the 'Noles.

The Buccaneers
John Gruden is making human sacrifices to the owl-god Moloch in hopes this is not another losing season so he can keep his job.

Preseason
Jesus, here he goes again, sucking the preseason's dick...

Bucs vs. The Patriots - It kills me to say this, it really does, but I think the Pats might go deeper on the depth chart. Unless of course special teams star *~Antoine Cash~* makes a big impact. Which he already has. On my heart.
Bucs @ Jaguars - Fuckin' Jacksonville.
Bucs @ Miami - The Dolphins are still awful.
Bucs vs. The Texans - Houston is still awful.

OMG Regular seasoning
The Bucs @ Seattle
The Bucs vs. New Orleans
The Bucs vs. St. Louis
The Bucs @ Carolina
The Bucs @ Indy
The Bucs vs. Tennessee
The Bucs @ Detroit
The Bucs vs. Jacksonville - Whuttup
The Bucs vs. Arizona
The Bucs vs. Bye Week
The Bucs @ Atlanta - We've got a history of embarrassing the Falcons at home. With Vick serving a 6-year prison sentence, why should this season be any different? (Note: Come Nov. 18, I will probably be eating my words)
The Bucs vs. Washington
The Bucs @ New Orleans
The Bucs @ Houston - Fuck you, Matt Schaubb
The Bucs vs. Atlanta
The Bucs @ San Francisco - Why not? Bill Walsh R.I.P., nigga
The Bucs vs. Carolina

And they go to the NFC Championship game and lose to the fucking Bears or something retarded like that.